so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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