Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
