If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize