i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
