He kissed a someone with a penis
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
