do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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