White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
