my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
