i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Randomize
