using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
