The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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