I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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