I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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