You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
