its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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