drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My ass is underappreciated
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
