I got chris browned last night
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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