just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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