I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
