You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
