I got chris browned last night
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
