We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
