i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You're like the curious george of whores
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
