You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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