The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize