return my video game
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
