Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
