is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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