NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She needs sedatives and a leash
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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