Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
