If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
