i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
