I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Jerry, you need to find god
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
