Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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