So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Randomize
