Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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