how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
