Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
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