After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
