I love black thongs
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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