they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Ketchup is God's man juice
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
