just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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