my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
