craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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