OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
