doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
