More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
