I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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