I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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