The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
