a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
