I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
