@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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