the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
