Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
