She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
