And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
