Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
