theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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