I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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